There wasn't such a place. There were such places.
In this town of 2,200, all 12 bars — from the pizza place to the Swiss restaurant to the bowling alley — serve New Glarus beer. Most serve it on draft, if not several drafts. What is not on tap is usually in bottles.
Such devotion allows New Glarus Brewing, perched on a hill above town, to be open from just 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. The rest of the time, the entire town becomes the brewery's pub. Since Deborah Carey started the brewery in 1993, New Glarus has become, without doubt, a town that loves its beer.
"We're very proud of what Deb has done," said Susie Weiss, director of the town's chamber of commerce. "When we have Polkafest or Oktoberfest, we only serve New Glarus beer. The only way to have another beer is to go into a bar and carry it out."
A night in New Glarus isn't long enough to hit all the bars or drink all the beer, but one Friday night, my drinking companion and I did our best.
After checking in at the Swiss Aire Motel (cheap, clean and simple personified), we shook off our 21/2-hour drive by strolling to the farthest bar we could find, Flannery's Wilhelm Tell Club, which, in true small-town fashion, was less than a mile away. In any other town, a bar like Flannery's would probably offer six lousy-to-fine draft beers whose identities you could guess without looking at the taps.
But Flannery's only offered two such beers — Coors Light and Stella Artois — alongside four New Glarus brews: Staghorn (an Oktoberfest), Totally Naked (a light lager), Fat Squirrel (a nut brown ale) and Spotted Cow (a farmhouse ale that is the brewery's staple).
Amid a crowd celebrating the start of the weekend, the bartender gladly poured us a short sample of each. For the full pint, I chose Fat Squirrel for its hearty, roasted balance; my companion picked Spotted Cow. I had sipped both those beers many times, but at Flannery's they came alive. Both were fresher and livelier than I knew they could be, especially the Spotted Cow. Out of Flannery's tap, Spotted Cow was a lesson on drinking locally: refreshing, earthy and bright.
Next we were off to Ott Haus, which might be a play on "outhouse," but it is also the name of the family that owns the bar. Unlike family-friendly Flannery's, Ott Haus is the kind of place where locals raise beers deep into the evening. We eyeballed the eight New Glarus bottles lined up beside the bar.
I chose the Black Top black India pale ale, the well-hopped seasonal at the time, and my companion chose Dancing Man, a surprisingly hearty wheat beer thick with banana and spice.
Rather than a second round at Ott Haus, we headed over to Glarner Stube, which is roundly considered the best restaurant in town. Its name translates to "The Living Room of New Glarus," and for good reason. The menu is full of savory Swiss dishes like Schublig ("mild spiced beef sausage … sure to please a true sausage lover"), Geschnetzelets ("tender veal slices sauteed with white wine, cream and mushrooms") and Roesti (potatoes fried with Swiss cheese).
With eight taps, Glarner Stube is home to one of the most comprehensive New Glarus draft lists in town. That night, the offerings included rarities like Chocolate Abbey (a light-bodied beer that walks a deft line between chocolaty and crisp) and Cranbic (a refreshing, light pink beer that's tart and sweet like the fruit from which it is derived).
Squeezing ourselves in at the wood bar bustling with locals and tourists, we ordered one of each. We also never enjoyed a 45-minute wait more. We downed our beers and then kept exploring: a Moon Man, New Glarus' crisp pale ale for me, and the Staghorn Oktoberfest for my drinking partner. Between us, we were up to nine New Glarus beers on the evening without ever setting foot in the brewery (though we got there the next day).
For my dinner of three large, gravy-covered Swiss meatballs, I went back to Chocolate Abbey to pair with the succulent meat. My co-pilot opted for the Fat Squirrel with her plate of tender scallops in a bright red pepper sauce.
Stuffed with beer and Swiss food, we figured a little activity was necessary to down one more New Glarus beer. In Wisconsin, of course, that means bowling.
We walked to Swiss Lanes, an alley stuck gloriously in the 1950s but updated just enough to offer one New Glarus beer on draft: Spotted Cow. We ordered a pint each, got our shoes, grabbed a lane and clinked glasses. Whether we were toasting New Glarus the beer or New Glarus the town, I'm not sure.
If you go
Just south of Madison, Wis., New Glarus is a 21/2- to 3-hour drive northwest of Chicago. Known for its Swiss charm (and beer), the town does brisk tourism business, especially during warmer months and festivals, so it's worth getting a room in advance. One of the great advantages of New Glarus is that almost everything is walkable.
There are several types of accommodations, including large hotels like Chalet Landhaus (608-527-5234, 801 Wisconsin Highway 69, chaletlandhaus.com simple motels like Swiss Aire (608-527-2138, 1200 Highway 69, swissaire.com and rental houses and cabins.
No visit is complete without eating Swiss food at Glarner Stube (608-527-2216, 518 First St., glarnerstube.com which has eight drafts dedicated to New Glarus beer. Other spots to sample the local brew include Flannery's Wilhelm Tell Club (608-527-2618, 114 Second St., flannerysnewglarus.com Ott Haus (608-527-2218, 406 Second St.) and Sportsman's Bar and Grill (608-527-2225, 506 First St.). For bowling, there's Swiss Lanes (608-527-2414; 1019 Highway 69). If you want to get close to nature, check out New Glarus Woods State Park (608-527-2335, W5446 County Highway NN), which has more than seven miles of trails.
Finally, be sure to visit the New Glarus brewery (608-527-5850, 2400 Highway 69, newglarusbrewing.com. Perched on a hill above town, it's part of a relaxing, pastoral scene that is perfect for sipping beer and boasts some varieties you probably can't find elsewhere. Don't miss the self-guided tour (do it with a beer in hand), and be sure to browse the ground-level shop that sells whatever New Glarus beer is available at the moment.
For more information, visit swisstown.com.
